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I'm over here now:
So yeah. There ya go.
As strange as it may sound, the main reason why I have stayed interested in the God of War games is because of the story and setting.
I know, I know, the God of War games aren't really story driven anywhere near as much as they're game-play/spectacle driven, but that's just it though. If you take away the story and setting (all the awesome Greek mythology mumbo jumbo) then it would really be nothing more than Devil May Cry on steroids. Really REALLY good and tasty steroids, but you know what I mean.
Though it was in these areas that the game flopped, and really just kind of disappointed overall.
But let me make this clear - I DO NOT THINK GOD OF WAR 3 IS A BAD GAME. SO DON'T START THAT CRAP HERE.
Anyways, here's a semi-pseudo list of what bothered me about God of War 3:
Perhaps one of the absolute biggest things that bothered me throughout the game was how they portrayed the "protagonist", Kratos, and the "antagonists", the Gods (Zeus in particular). I know that Kratos isn't supposed to be a nice guy or anything, but goodness gracious, I found myself rooting for the Gods most of the time. The games tried to tell us over and over and over again that the Gods were corrupt, as if trying to justify Kratos' apocalypse-induced stroll through Greek mythology.
I don't completely remember GoW 1. since it's been ages since I've played it, but wasn't the whole reason why the Gods wanted Ares dead because he was causing all sorts of havoc and destruction? I think Ares tricked Kratos into killing his family, yadda yadda yadda.
But then, when Kratos became the God of War in GoW 2, didn't he start doing the exact same thing that Ares was doing? Even going so far as to go down himself and aid his army in whatever war/pillaging/destruction they were currently doing?
So Zeus tricks Kratos into forfeiting his God-status, Kratos swears revenge, and thus begins Kratos' quest for vengeance against the ultimate beings - the Gods. In your quest you learn that you have to go back in time and take away the Blade of Olympus - which was at the time forever out of Kratos' reach and apparently the only weapon that would give Kratos the ability to kill the higher beings.
But considering that Kratos doesn't actually use the Blade of Olympus to kill any of the Gods (except Athena, which was on accident), I guess it really wasn't so important in the end after all.
The entire time they're trying to convince us, again, that the Gods are corrupt by showing some random important Greek figures (like Icarus or whoever) being stuck in some eternal torment bestowed upon them by the Gods, but at least they kept things in order. Yes, some of the Gods may have been slight douches, and even incestuous, but hey, at least they kept everything in check. They were technically the higher powers/authority, like government or police, whatever you want to call it. They were enforcing their laws and rules in order to maintain balance and some semblance of peace.
Kratos on the other hand didn't care at all if the world went to hell (which it does), and was even the one making it happen. But honestly, it didn't start to get too bad or retarded until after God of War 2, which ended greatly. Kratos had killed the sisters of fate, could travel through time, also had the Blade of Olympus, and had gathered all of the Titans to go take down Zeus and the other Gods once and for all, and begin their climb of Mount Olympus.
And then we get to God of War 3, and yet another problem with God of War 3 (as a whole, kind of) arises. The battle with Poseidon, was HUGE and EPIC and freaking AWESOME! You're riding on the back of Mother Nature herself, as she's being beaten and penetrated by the God of the Sea (eww...), and you have to get Poseidon off of Gaia and with her help, you take Poseidon down. The "first-person" PoV from Poseidon's view as you literally beat the tar out of him and even poke out his eyes was the definition of EPIC.
The problem though, is that when you FINALLY get to Zeus, the big kahuna himself, the King of the Gods, the Ultimatum, you fight him of course, and the fight you have with him is nowhere NEAR the same level of awesome that Poseidon provided. Heck, even Hermes and Hades and your brother Hercules provided much bigger, better, badder, or at least more interesting battles.
As soon as Zeus was physically "dead", and then turned into an evil giant gas cloud higher being dude, I pretty much just gave up on any hope of things ending decently. And then you FINALLY finish Zeus off by just mashing the circle button until Zeus is dead. YOU FREAKING PUNCH HERCULES' FACE IN! YOU CAN SEE HIS SKULL AND BONES SHATTERING AS YOU'RE POUNDING HIM WITH HIS OWN GAUNTLETS. YOU RIP OUT HUGE CHUNKS OF HADES' CHEST, AND THEN PROCEED TO RIP HIS SOUL FROM HIS OWN BODY. Even Cronos' fight was way better, having you being eaten by the titan himself, just for you to carve your way out o his innards. Even the battle with Zeus from God of War 2 was way cooler, and ended equally as brutally. Jeez, even Hera - Zeus' drunken, gaunt, gangly psychopath of a wife offered a more interesting challenge.
Another HUGE thorn in my side was Athena being raised to a "higher level of existence". That just opens a whole other can of worms. So how does that work? Who's in charge of the "higher existence"? Why did Zeus start going all cloudy gassy "higher existency" during the final battle? Can "higher beings" be killed too (which it seems like they can, since Athena at the end acts cautious about whether or not Kratos is going to poke her in her "higher plane" arse with the Blade of Olympus)? Where do they go if they die? Where are ANY of these people and titans going after being killed? Didn't you screw up the underworld and balance of things down there by destroying the 3 judges and killing Hades? Why did Kratos kill himself in the end? And what did Athena mean when she said that "They won't know what to do with your god killing power energy stuff"? Why are they trying to make us care about Kratos and his whole "tortured soul" gimmick if he's done nothing but bring about the apocalypse to fulfill his own wishes? Why did Pandora even care about Kratos? I'm guessing Pandora never found out that Kratos killed her "dad" and screwed his wife. And how exactly did the evils being released from Pandora's Box corrupt the Gods? Yeah they weren't perfect or all that nice, but as I said earlier, they were maintaining balance and authority, two things that our protagonist either screws over or abuses constantly. What's going to happen next? Is the world just "over"?
DID YOU NOT SAY THAT THIS WAS THE FINAL GOD OF WAR GAME!?
Gawd, I hope it is. I'm sick of cliff hangers and forced sequels. And I'm still mad about how irritating the cliff hanger in GoW 2 was. But if this IS the end, then... I... what...
Wow, I might actually be able to get my comic published... Awesome! Gotta wait 'till the contest finishes over though... I hope my comic wins!
Geez... I'm actually using Twitter now...
It's so WEIRD! But kinda cool at the same time...
Yep! I'm selling out! Well, selling out even more than I have been...
You know, I'm just minding my own buisiness, Googling the word "toot" in an attempt to see if my website would come up and instead I got this:
That's a Poot, not a Toot! Google FAIL.
WHO HERE LIKES STRAWBERRIES!?!?
"cause I sure as heck don't...
Man, who's leg do you gotta hump to get scouted around here?
... Okay! Sorry... I promise to not steal jokes from famous cartoons anymore...
... Sorry Brian...